a fullbody illustration of diane, an anthropomorphic bluebird wearing a mask, pink hoodie and dark purple pants.
Diane's signature.
  • Full name: Diane Peranza
  • Age: You don't ask a lady that!
  • Gender: Transed
  • Species: Mountain bluebird
  • Hours slept daily: 2.4

The world's unluckiest woman, at least from her perspective. Despite leading a mundane life, Diane can't help but get into huge messes where she can't catch a break.

Check out her personal site here!

AUTHOR THOUGHTS

Ah, Diane... I've been learning to love her. For a while she existed as a mere "blank slate", a husk devoid of any interesting personality traits, hobbies or even a defined job. Eventually, little by little, I made her a more interesting character. As for her role in the story... She's definitely going through a lot, huh? This is just between you and me, but I don't think anyone could come out of there alive without a few good years of therapy.

GALLERY

An illustration of Diane relaxing while listening to music. Diane's self portrait. A doodle of Diane skipping around a grassy field. 2 drawings of Diane wearing nu metal-styled outfits.
A fullbody illustration of Sam, an anthropomorphic blueish cat wearing a yellow striped shirt, green jacket and dark blue pants. He is looking to the side sticking his tongue out.
Sam's signature.
  • Full name: Sam [REDACTED]
  • Age: (Presumably) close to Diane's
  • Gender: Kitty cat...?
  • No. of countries wanted in: 58.5
  • Nationality: Italian...? Maybe Argentinian. I'm not really sure.

Sam is many things at once, including but not limited to: A space obsessed hyperactive kitty cat; A physical, psychological and emotional anomaly; A trickster, a jester, a fool; and Diane's best friend.

Check out his personal site here!

AUTHOR THOUGHTS

Sam is everything to me, and at the same time he's completely meaningless. His purposefully contradicting character traits are always a joy to write about, inside and outside the comic. He's my go-to model for experimentation and trying out new art styles. Everything you assume, think or say about him is simultaneously canon and non-canon. As a certain someone would say, he's a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Then again, he could also just be some guy who's trying to mess with people for the fun of it. Who knows? :3c

GALLERY

A fake screenshot of Sam similar to a Caramelldansen animation. A drwing of anime-styled Sam made in MS Paint. A doodle of sam standing in front of a burning house. He says 'ups ^_^ asi lo quiso diosito'. A fake 365 Bocetos Youtube thumbnail featuring Sam.
A fullybody illustration of Shiko, a green one-eyed alien. He is staring at the camera with no expression.
Text reading 'Shiko'
  • Full Name: Shiko [Unknown]
  • Gender: [Unknown]
  • Marketability: 0%
  • Species: Of extraterrestrial origin
  • Minecraft account status: Cracked

He's an alien. That's it.

Apparently he's got a personal site..?

AUTHOR THOUGHTS

My god, what is there to say about Shiko? Compared to his 2020-2022 characterization (visible in chapters 1, 2 and the first half of 3), modern Shiko simply doesn't. He doesn't care, doesn't know anyone and ultimately doesn't matter. He's the most difficult character to draw. I hope he turns emo. I hope the government neuters him. I hope he stays in that building forever. 2021 Shiko is a completely different alien to the one you see today, or rather don't see, since he hasn't shown up in the comic since the end of Chapter 3. He's still alive though! ...Probably.

GALLERY

Whatever doodles and art I have of Shiko are either too old to put up here, or too ridiculous to even begin to explain.

A fullbody illustration of Millie, an anthropomorphic orange dog wearing a fedora and trench coat.
Millie's signature.
  • Full name: Millie Flórez-Suwhey
  • Age: Early-Mid 40's (in dog years)
  • Gender: Dame
  • Species: Golden Retriever Border Collie mix
  • Favorite film noir: Detour (1945)

Millie is a short-fused, noir-obsessed, sleep-deprived and extremely stressed out hard-boiled forty something private investigator. Worst of all, she's used to this state of being and thinks it's perfectly normal. Her favorite smell is lavender.

Millie has no web site. She's never used a computer.

AUTHOR THOUGHTS

If I told you how much I've written, drawn and thought about Millie (and Daisy!), you wouldn't believe me. I love detectives, I love watching noir films *and* I love characters that are messed up in the head; what were you expecting? My two biggest inspirations for the personality and general characteristics are Inspector Zenigata (Lupin III) and Sam (Sam & Max). Have I told you how much I love her? She has zero volume control. She probably has loads of childhood trauma. She will never get therapy. Her stream of consciousness is not just a noir-styled monologue, it's a whole filme. Absolutely insane woman.

GALLERY

A black and white drawing of Millie. She has her back turned to the viewer. A doodle of Millie sitting in her office. A 3 panel comic about Millie spotting rose petals on the floor as she comes home, and following them only to find that Daisy's been eating roses. A black and white illustration of Millie standing on a city street. She looks at her wristwatch and thinks, '3 MINUTES LATE...'

  • Full name: Daisy Flórez-Suwhey
  • Age: Mid-Late 40's
  • Gender: It's complicated
  • Species: Western grey squirrel
  • Languages fluent in: Python, Javascript, C++, C#, Java, Malbolge and Loading Bars

A florist by day and a programmer by night, Daisy is a good old-fashioned computer nerd with a sense of humor that borders on the line of what might be criminal confessions. Smells like lavender.

Check out her personal site here!

AUTHOR THOUGHTS

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do... Gosh, I love Daisy. Maybe it's because I'll always love fellow butches, or because we share similar interests in programming, or maybe because we're both nerds. I am 100% serious when I say creating her has positively impacted my life. He's probably the most capable character in the entire webcomic. I also have many thoughts regarding Daisy's gender... any butch knows how hard it is to figure that kind of thing out.

GALLERY

A low quality drawing of Daisy in front of a real picture of a computer desk. 3 black and white doodles of Daisy wearing a leather jacket and combat boots. A Valentine's Day card featuring Daisy hugging her computer. The text reads 'I'm half crazy, all for the love of YOU!' A black and white doodle of Daisy entering a bar.